a letter to the president (part2)

Dear Mr. President
I hope you got the letter I sent...

A Dollar only goes so far and we need help here, no matter who we are.
See, we come from different worlds and different places until there’s one great land, one nation under God.
Times are getting harder and we need you to be like Moses and lead your people through.
Please be careful...be careful of what you do...what you do.

-Ella

a letter to the president (part1)

This song is for my mama.
This song is for you.

Hey Mr. President,
Tomorrow I’m paying my rent, my fuel is runnin’ low, and I’ve got places to go.
Quit slowin’ me down.

Can we talk about the education of our children? A book is worth more than a bomb any day. 
And remember a mirror to Africa, who will bring the cure before it’s too late. 
Don’t you see the hurt in their eyes? So much disappointment in many faces. Use your heart and not your pride.
We can’t go on and keep pretending.

Please Mr. President...
Where’s all the money you spent? Food is fallin low and they have nowhere to go.
Quit slowin me down.

(I asked the father to have mercy on us. You think we'd know the rules by now. We can’t go starting wars with hearts of hatred. Our nations greed won’t make it better or quiet the fears in our hearts.)


-Ella (through the words of Monae)

It was a sunny night.

I want the sun to shine all the time.

Is that too much to ask?

BREATH-TAKING

Post-exams

I will be as lazy as lazy can get.

My body and mind has been so over-worked. It's all killing me now that I've simmered down. 

So I'm going to turn up some monae and sleep for 24 hours. 

(Saturday and Sunday will be non-stop days...

1. pics on saturday 

2. get together for my party kinda not really at jess'

3. st pauls pics

4. dinner 

5. @ school on sunday from 11-4ish!!! AND PLAY BEGINS!!!) 

This year...

I think I opened up a little too much happiness. 

"Smiling so hard, my mouth like a capital U."

idoleyes

GOLD.

my fuel.

I had a super lengthy but super worth it conversation with a friend today; a friend that I haven't talked to in forever and he said something that is SUPER true. 

He told me that he realized that I work better under pressure (this came about while we talked about exams) and he said that he hopes there are more exams so that I can  basically prove myself more each time. Which, to some degree, is true. Whenever there's an opportunity for me to prove myself, I take it. It was interesting though, to hear it from someone else...because lately I've been feeling like I haven't been doing enough. But he told me that I've been doing exactly what I should be doing.

And a lot of people have been telling me this. It's just that I haven't heard it in the way that he described it. 

After we hung up, I went on youtube and found this song that totally relates.

"Come on world

Throw another battle in my life
It hurts, but I've learned it makes me stronger
Come on world
Give me all you got and I'll pull through
Love is my fuel
And I won't be losing that any time soon."

The win of yesterday's wins.

When Anna's dad randomly started to sing...

"I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a gooood night..."

Yes, the BEP song. 

Yes, we broke into hysterics. 

Oh, dear.

I'm a dream away.

It's funny what you find when you're not looking...

Unexplainable.

"As love comes and goes, I feel like giving up. So i'm praying for a better day to come my way when I feel as though hope is gone.
Oh, I dwell on the "maybe's" and my mind's going crazy...from the past that  I can't erase. Still you say that you love me and say that that you want me.
This I can't explain."

Yesterday was SO "win."

Yesterday, as in Friday the 20th of November, was such a WIN. 

Despite some people showing off in my face early in the morning...

I woke up in such a good mood. First off, I actually got some sleep before this english exam because I've been prepping all week. 

I'm pretty sure I did well on the M/C. I know that I did well on my synthesis essay because I spent 45 minutes on it. I bombed my Hamlet paragraph :( 

buuut I killed my original composition. 

So I'm thinking I got a low A on that exam, but I'll take it because it's the LAST I'M EVER GONNA SEE OF GRADE 12 ENGLISH. And I can say "hello" to AP English. (: 

The prompt for the original composition was, "Recognizing Truth." 

And my character half recognizes it half doesn't. Depends on how you look at it.

My essay was based on a boy in grade two who keeps whispering to his yellow plastic ruler that it is "so wrong" constantly throughout the story. And he finds out that his ruler isn't exactly a foot long (30 cm.) And I threw in a shit load of symbols within symbols, paradox'd a few things, and even threw in some alliteration whenever Ms. Laliberte would speak. The audience finds out that the ruler metaphor parallels how the dad lies to 'Bradley' about his mom leaving them. Bradley believes that his mom is with another man...but she actually died.  And Bradley believes this because his dad always says, "Mummies with Him now." And you find out that because Bradley is in a Catholic school that everyone just refers to God as Him and expect Bradley to know what they're talking about. So there you go.

Anyways, after the exam I went to White Spot avec Marie, Anna, and Shenette. We bumped into some '08 grads: Ivee and Linnea. And we walked around the mall for a bit. Then Shenette and Marie had to leave to catch their bus but Anna and I were getting picked up by her parents. Anna's mom bought an Iphone aka "The Big One." I drank calming tea from Aveda with Anna's dad who LOVED it and got a second sample and even told the Brazilian on the bench that it was real good. Then anna and I went to shoppers where we found out that twilight has its own MAKE UP LINE. I know. So gross. Then we went to Claire's to buy leg warmers and lace leggings. Yay. 

Then I saw my marvster and we watched the hockey game and fell asleep watching it. 

And this is why yesterday was so "win."

This road is taking me to where I'm meant to be.

So let me digress a little from exams and all.

I just want to share with you guys a little bit of happiness. 

Scratch that. 

A little bit of a lot of happiness. 

I know what I'm doing!! 

It sounds crazy and all but I actually know what I'm doing with my life.

And that is HUGE! Because about 2 weeks ago I didn't even know if I was going into arts or sciences. 

I'm going to neither...just to let you know. 

I've applied for Sauder UBC school of commerce!!!! :) 

(And I chose sciences as my back-up.)

I just need to maintain my Math percentage and I'm IN! 

Suuuuh-weet right?! 

Anyways, what else is there to update you guys on? 

School is great. Work isn't happening right now cuz of exams (I booked off 2 weeks!) And play is finally in motion! THANK GOD. I am spending the day before my exams at school for the auditions!!! Haha, better appreciate my presence there all you actors. Just kidding. But seriously. I would even spend my birthDAY at school for play. I'm IMMENSELY/MEGA/SUPERDUPERPUMPED for this!!!! You have no idea. 

I'll stop rambling now. 

Bye guys.

Hope exams aren't stressing you out.

All I have to say is...buy some calming tea from Aveda. It really works. 

HAHA, ANNA. 

So turn off your tears and listen.

Pain can throw your heart to the ground.

But love can turn the whole thing around.

And then it can , almost casually, shove you and that beating thing right back into the cold concrete. 

Doesn't the whole cycle seem kinda pointless?

This is it.

          What does this say to you?

Cuz it's exactly how I'm feelin'.  

Baby you the best.

I think I have the best boyfriend ever. 

Cuz I've got that type of boyfriend that'll pick you up after work downtown at 1030pm to skytrain you to Richmond Centre and then bus himself home. 

I've got that type of boyfriend that buys us a Christmas tree which already has presents underneath it :) 

I've got that type of boyfriend that'll put me before himself no matter what, when, or where.

I've got that type of boyfriend that understands. 

I've got that type of boyfriend that gets happy because you're happy and doesn't just smile cuz it's contagious but because he's genuinely happy to see me smiling. 

How could I not love him?!

Grey Skies.

"...I used to think love was black or white. Wrong or Right."

But now I feel those grey skies.

never like the rest

Some people have an amusement-park type love; 

filled with ups and downs.

But you and I are steady cruisin'....

post-work surprises and line conversations

I wasn't exactly having the best of days today and anyone at school (who saw me) would understand why. I somewhat explained it to Marvin through a text message; only giving key-words like 'fight', and 'car,' and 'school.' 

And all throughout school I wasn't exactly feeling my best.

But then work rolled around and I felt a bit better. (Getting over $300 above my goal and getting 12% purses... Aldo people understand...) I felt like I had accomplished something and it was my pick-me-up in a way. And I seriously needed that. 

Then (walking to the canada line with jason) I got a phone call from Marvin asking if i was bussing or getting picked up. I told him bussing. And then he told me that he was waiting for me downtown. 

I know.

He's the most perfect boyfriend ever. I know. 

Trying to get my mood up, he canada line'd with me home! Then we talked for a bit on the c.line and this is what REALLY made my night: 

Marvin: "Do I have any imperfections?" 

Me: "No."

Marvin:"No, seriously. I want to be a better person. And I can only be a better person if I know what's wrong so I can fix it."

Me:"Nothing's wrong with you. You're the most perfectest boyfriend in the world. The most perfect for me." 

Marvin:"Do you want to know what's wrong with you?"

Me:"What?"

Marvin:"You're a liar."

Me: (all shocked and kind-of-angry)"How am I A LIAR?!?!?" 

Marvin: " Because you said I'm perfect." '

Yes, these are the kind of conversations we have...almost all the time. 

Reading Dear John. Again.

""Our relationship, I felt with a heaviness in my chest, was beginning to feel like the spinning movement of a child's top.  When we were together, we had the power to keep it spinning, and the result was beauty and magic and an almost childlike sense of wonder; when we seperated, the spinning began inevitably to slow.  We became wobbly and unstable, and I knew I had to find a way to keep us from toppling o v e r."

Shit, nanowrimo already begun.

I totally forgot it's  november! Which means nanowrimo already begun! FUCK. 

(Excuse my language.) I usually get all prepped for nanwrimo every year! I guess it's because I

1) got a job this year 2) am in grade 12...wow. 3) am drowning in scholarship applications (they do take as much time as they say...) 

Anyways, I will start. I know exactly what I'm going to write. And by that...I mean, I know more of my plot than I usually do (since I started 4 years ago.) Gail Carson Levine (author of Ella Enchanted....a book that truly did inspire me. And no, not just because of the name although that's what drove me to pick it up in the first place) e-mail'd us what she's going to do for this writers-fest of a month and I guess it'll sort of relate to me except for the fact that I actually have to go out for school. 

But she's genius. And she has inspired me once again to get going and start this novel already. Like a cheetah ;) 

"I dug a shallow grave in the backyard and buried my print thesaurus (starting tomorrow, the first word I think of is good enough, even if I use it seven times on every page), dictionary (who cares how ophthalmologist is spelled anyway?), usage books (I can figure out the difference between lie and lay later), encyclopedia, atlas, and my beloved books about writing. I taped blackout curtains over my windows. My techy friend spent hours tinkering with my computer. She's assured me that it will combust if I try to reestablish connections to the internet and email. The single thing I'm keeping is my cell phone in case I start to go into cardiac arrest, but the keys are smeared with battery acid, except the 9, the 1, and send. My family and friends and Meals-on-Wheels have sworn to deliver food to my door, which will be kept closed to protect the world from my intensifying body odor. "

The search has ended.

Still no sign of HMV boy, people. 

I worked on it and worked on it.

Searched high and low on main st and in oakridge mall.

I guess it's not meant to be? 

Or maybe it's BECAUSE I was looking?

Should I just let fate deal with this? 

It was her doing in the first place....

...I seriously hope you didn't quit your job. Otherwise I'd have to dub you "41st boy" instead.

Refer to: www.sheerpulchritude.blogspot.com/2009/09/missing-hmv-boy.html

Vent.

It's funny when you hear things that totally throw you off-guard. Timmyho talks ftw.

Thanks girls. Idk how bad that whole conversation was...but I trust you guys hahaha.

We did get a bit carried away. But whatever.

We deserved to have that talk.

Glad to know I'm not alone.

Did you know...

You are so laid.

get it?