childish fantasies.

I climbed the ladder of my bunk bed carelessly and slipped under the covers.
My toes and fingertips felt like icicles and my hair was still dripping.
The pillow caught my head. And the bed entrapped me.
I reached for you around my neck.
My night-light guided my eyes. I studied your noose.

My mother said, "Here honey, take care of it."
And in the distance, typing away, I heard my 13 year old cousin say, "Only a fool makes that gold, you know, Ella-laure?"
Then mom shut him up and told him, "It's meant for my princess, Ryan."
(At least...that's how I remember the conversation.)

What the noose held was magnificent. You were stunning.
So valuable. How is it you ended up there? Was this your destiny?
Or do we drive our own fate?
It was a beautiful snare you tied around your neck.

My eyes were growing tired. I dug under the marked X and I was surprised at my findings.
You had turned a silver colour. Fool's gold. That's what he said. Fool's gold.
You tricked me.


I hope you guys can understand this...it's honestly soaked in symbols. If you know what's been going on. You know the story. Hope you could make SOME sense of it :)